Out and Back

Just trying to pay more attention to these moments when they show up. Because they are rare and beautiful and 2:30 in the morning makes them even more so. These words don’t do them justice, but sticking a bookmark in this evening will help me remember.

 Since Christmas day was 75 degrees and sunny, my husband and I decided to take a walk around Daniel Island, where we live. There are a lot of walking/biking paths and we picked a nice long one that we like. It winds around behind the Family Circle Cup arena/tennis center, over some marshy areas, and eventually runs parallel to the Wando river.

During our walk, we passed by a fence that we had noticed before, but since we were heading in the opposite direction from our usual route, we noticed what was beyond the fence for the first time: an old cemetery. Since the fence seemed to be more of a demarcation line than an actual barrier (there was ample space beside each end of the fence to walk around it, and it also would have been easy to crawl under, climb over, or step between the slats) we wandered into the cemetery to explore a little bit. There were a few headstones, and a couple of ancient benches like the one in the photo above, but it was clear from the unevenness of the ground that there were many more unmarked graves here.

It was a beautiful place, overlooking a section of marsh. Based on the headstones and markers we could see, it looked like the last time anyone was buried there was in the 1960s or 1970s sometime. When we got home, my husband did a little cursory internet research, and came across an excerpt from a book about Daniel Island which mentioned the cemetery. According to the information he found, it is known as Simmons Cemetery because it was adjacent to a plantation owned by someone named Maurice Simmons around the time of the Civil War. We also learned that some of the graves we had seen were those of African-American soldiers, two of whom had served in black infantry regiments during World War I and another who had served in the U.S. colored infantry during the Civil War.

It was interesting to find this old place in an area that is better known for its newness. It was so tranquil and lovely, and seemed like a wonderful final resting place.  

Simmons Cemetery as seen from the path across the marsh.

This photo is another view of the cemetery from the path. If you look across the marsh to where the trees are near the center of the photo, that’s where the cemetery is.

Here’s our tree… a Norfolk island pine that the cats have enjoyed nibbling on. (Fortunately it isn’t toxic to them.) 

Rewinding from the yuletide cheer a bit, I must report that we had a wonderful Thanksgiving with my husband’s parents, my brother, sister-in-law, and nephew. My turkey breasts came out perfectly — I love this citrus/cilantro turkey recipe from good ol’ Better Homes and Gardens. It’s pretty easy but it makes everyone think you slaved away all day. I made sweet potatoes and green beans, too, along with my grandmother’s cornbread dressing, and my personal favorite… aromatic parsnips and carrots (also from BHG, incidentally.) It’s one of the only recipes I have where preparing the dish is every bit as enjoyable as eating it. The fragrances that ensue as you mix up the coriander, cinnamon, fennel seeds, and garlic are so wonderful that actually eating the final product is almost anticlimactic. 

While I cooked, my mother-in-law made dry gin martinis for herself and my father-in-law, and I made myself a cosmo with real, 100% cranberry juice… something worth trying if you never have. The cooking was a blast, but the best part was sitting on the patio after everything was in the oven, sipping my drink and just catching my breath from all the tearing around I had been doing to get it all ready. 

The next day, instead of going Black Friday shopping, we took my nephew, Jonah, to Isle of Palms. He had only been to the beach one other time, when he was just a four-week-old baby, so this experience was much more interactive. It was fun to watch him explore the seashore in his little blue sweatshirt and pants. During the visit, Jonah also got to know our cats (he even learned the sign for “cat” and was quick to make it whenever he saw them.) Surprisingly, Tisbe, who is the grouchy one, was very interested in Jonah. To be fair, she made some exasperated noises at him a couple of times, but she also let him get close to her and stayed near him when he was playing with his toys. She even curled up and took a nap with his stuffed lion at one point!

Our Christmas/Yule celebration will be decidedly more low-key than Thanksgiving was, which is fine by us. We’re staying around Charleston and eating dinner down at Poogan’s Porch (one of our favorite downtown restaurants) on the 25th. I’m taking a couple of days off around New Year’s and we’re going to go visit Savannah since I’ve never been there before, but other than that, we’re taking it easy.

We’re getting ready to entertain a houseful (condoful?) this week. My husband’s parents arrive tomorrow night, and my brother, sister-in-law, and 15-month-old nephew arrive Wednesday night. Somewhere between working, greeting all the visitors, and all the last-minute grocery shopping, I’m going to cook for six adults and a toddler. Yowza.

I’ve got the menu planned and most of the (non-perishable) ingredients purchased. Last night I made the cornbread for the dressing, tonight I made the apple butter sauce stuff that goes with the brie-and-pears appetizer I’m planning, tomorrow night I’m baking the pies, and Wedensday night I’m marinating the turkey, cooking the parsnips and carrots, blanching the green beans, and making the marinade for said green beans. That just leaves Thursday to throw the bird in the oven, make the dressing, and peel and cook the yams. (Oh yeah, and dish up the cranberry sauce and mix up the gravy. Gravy and cranberry sauce are the two areas where I cheat — the cranberry sauce comes out of a can and the gravy comes out of a packet from Knorr.)

I literally wrote out a schedule last night. And a list of all the stuff I still need to pick up at the store.

I used to laugh at my mother’s careful planning and documentation of Thanksgiving dinner, but now I think I understand it better.

It’s the kind of insanity you don’t appreciate until you’re a grown-up.

I’m still kicking. I got the promotion, so I’m off the road and happily settling into life as a cube-dweller. I supervise three people and am enjoying the challenges and rewards of my new life in management. I ride my fabulous bike to work almost every day, although now that it’s getting dark earlier I am finding I need a more high-powered headlight for the ride home. I have never felt like I have very good night vision, and the short section of road I have to travel before I reach the bike/pedestrian path is not well lit at all. (Neither is the bike path, for that matter, but at least I don’t have to contend with cars when I’m on it.)

I couldn’t be happier about last night’s election results, I’ve been experiencing this feeling of quiet elation and pride in my country all day. As I was out walking this evening, I looked at the sky and the stars and the moon and felt like there was a sense of equilibrium returning, somehow. I don’t know how else to describe it. Yes we can? Yes we DID!

In other news, October 31 was my first chance to really properly observe one of the eight Wiccan holidays, or sabbats: Samhain. It’s the Wiccan new year, but it’s also a time when we remember and honor those who have passed away. I performed a simple ceremony and my husband took part, too. We remembered his brother and even ordered pizza that night (one of my late brother-in-law’s favorite foods) so that we could leave a slice out for him. (Leaving food or setting an extra place at the table on Samhain to honor the dead is something a lot of people do in observance of this particular sabbat.)

I’m trying to make a return to more regular blogging, so please keep watching this space for more updates on what I’m up to….

Good morning readers… all two of you…

Out and Back has been a little dormant lately, between my job, our recent move to Charleston, and what sometimes seems like about a million other things vying for my attention, but I had some time this morning and thought I would post a few newsworthy items from my ordinarily un-newsworthy life.

1. Charleston
We made it to Charleston on July 31, moved into our rented condo on August 1, and have been slowly but surely settling in to life in the Low Country. I like our new place a lot and I love living in Charleston. This is, I think, the closest I’ve ever lived to the ocean. Despite the threat of tropical storms and hurricanes (we watched Hanna snake its way toward us this past week, only to pass by quickly leaving us relatively unscathed) it’s a wonderful place to be.

2. Bike
Last weekend I bought myself a fantastic new bicycle. I live close enough to my employer that I can actually bike to work if I feel like it, which is just too cool for words. I haven’t ridden a bike in probably ten years, but I have been enjoying tooling around our new neighborhood, especially on cool mornings or in the evenings when the sun and heat aren’t quite so brutal.

3. Work
I’m continuing to enjoy my work as a consultant, although the traveling is starting to wear me out a bit. My company understands that people in my role have a shelf life, and I recently applied for a management position within my division. Don’t want to count the chickens before they hatch, but the interview process has been going very well so far. I’m cautiously optimistic.

4. Wicca
My spiritual studies continue in earnest. I have a full-blown altar going now, atop the sideboard inherited from my unwaveringly Southern Baptist maternal grandmother. As I was arranging it a couple of weeks ago, I commented to my husband that we could easily stash some of the more unusual tools and implements whenever we have company. My husband’s reply: “And why should we do that? Why is it OK for Christians to have crosses around but you can’t have your pentacle out?” I love him, but I also know it’s important to pick your battles. I know who and what I am and I don’t need all of my tools out 24/7 to remind myself (or anyone else) of that.

5. Reading
I’ve just finished reading an excellent book: The Daughters of Juarez by Teresa Rodriguez. It’s a very good (albeit sometimes difficult) account of the still-unsolved femicides that have been taking place in and around Ciudad Juarez, Mexico since 1993. This is an issue I’ve been passionate about since I was in college, and reading Rodriguez’s book has renewed my interest in getting more involved, whether through regular support of some of the NGO’s in Mexico that are advocating on behalf of these women and their families, or by educating everyone I know about the atrocities taking place mere yards from the United States. To continue increasing my own knowledge, I’m currently reading Diana Washington Valdez’s book on the same subject, The Killing Fields: Harvest of Women.

My trip to Arizona in June and stroll through Agua Prieta, Mexico (we drove down to Douglas and walked across the border to hang out in Mexico for a couple of hours) also piqued a broader interest in border culture and the immigration debate. I just picked up Luis Alberto Urrea’s The Devil’s Highway and have found it fascinating so far.

6. Brother-in-law
I posted a few months back about my brother-in-law’s unexpected death. We recently received a copy of the death certificate from my husband’s parents, and P.’s death was officially ruled accidental. The cause was listed as acute diphenhydramine; he apparently took too much of a prescription form of the drug known commercially as Benadryl. Given his problems with allergies, he probably over-medicated himself in an attempt to get some relief from his symptoms. It is good to know he most likely did not take his own life intentionally, and we are all glad to finally know what happened.

That’s all I’ve got for now, but I’ll be making an effort to post more regularly throughout the fall.

“The revolution will not be wearing bustiers and nail polish.” -Twisty, I Blame The Patriarchy

The rest of my vacation was spectacular, but I didn’t get around to posting more about it mainly because I was busy enjoying it. When it was over, I got sucked right back into work and was on the road for a big portion of the second half of June. And now I’m going nuts preparing for what will be the sixth move since my husband and I got married. At least we’re moving somewhere good… <drumroll> Charleston!

This blog may not see much action between now and the first part of August as we gear up to get the heck out of Pickens County, but I have plans to post a lot about our new town once we’re settled.

I’m on a well-earned vacation this week with my husband. (This is the most time we’ve spent together in quite a while, between my work schedule and his PhD antics.)

We flew into Phoenix on Saturday morning. My frequent flier miles had won us a first-class upgrade and my HiltonHHonors points netted us two free nights at the Doubletree Reid Park in Tucson. We spent Saturday and Sunday nights in Tucson, visiting San Xavier del Bac and Saguaro National Park, eating great Mexican food, and hitting up In-N-Out Burger for lunch. Last night we went to Tucson’s DeAnza Drive In to watch the Sex and the City movie from our rental car, which was lots of fun.

We headed to a cactus greenhouse this morning, and then drove on to the infamous town of Tombstone to check out the cheesiness. Tombstone did not disappoint — the faux Western vibe was out in full force. I did find a great little metaphysical shop where I picked up a few supplies, though, and we ate a nice lunch at one of the saloons. We were joined at the bar by a local artist who gave us some helpful suggestions for things to see and do while we were in Cochise County. After resisting the temptation to watch a re-enactment of the shootout at the OK Corral, we headed on to the old copper mining town of Bisbee, where our innkeeper met us with hugs and showed us to the little two-bedroom place we’ll be renting until Friday. It’s got a kitchen and lots of space to spread out, and we can catch a wi-fi signal from the motel across the street.

I’m already crazy about Bisbee. I’ve wanted to visit for years, and it’s great to finally be here. We took a long wander this afternoon through the downtown and I’m looking forward to the next few days of exploring. We might even head down to Naco one day this week and walk into Mexico for a few hours. (I keep joking with my husband that I want to mess with some Minutemen, ha! Probably not a very good idea….)

More from me later this week as we get in touch with our inner Arizonans.